inevitable.reality

i'm not sure if I'm happy or completely lost right now.
definitely a little lost, but aren't we all?
i have no idea what I'm doing in my life, or where I'm going.
and I think I'm okay with that right now.
for the first time in a while, I noticed that I've changed.
maybe for the best, maybe not. But does it really matter?
when we change, we can never go back.

and you get to a point where you stop feeling sorry for yourself. you realize no one's going to save you, so you have to save yourself. you turn your life around, not knowing where you're going, just knowing that you'll do anything, anything to be happy again.

in life, we do things. some, we wish we had never done, and some we wish we could replay a million times, but they make us who we are and, in the end, they shape and detail us. if we were to reserve them, we wouldn't be the person we are today. so, just live. make mistakes and have wonderful memories. but, never second guess who you are, where you've been and, most importantly, where you're going.

people are going to disappoint you, i mean, i get that and i kinda expect that, but what if you wake up one day and you're the disappointment? - One Tree Hill

let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. it’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.

maybe we like the pain. maybe we’re wired that way. because without it, i don’t know, maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. what’s that saying? Why do i keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when stop. - Grey’s Anatomy

being defeated is just temporary, giving up is what makes it permanent.

화이팅! 화이팅! 화이팅@ 화이팅! 화이팅! 화이팅!

everyone thinks it’s so romantic, Romeo and Juliet, true love, how sad. if Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, she deserved what she got. - Grey’s Anatomy

you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might find, you get what you need.

life is funny. it's funny in how the simplest things can knock us off our feet; the perfect gust of wind, driving down country roads with the windows down, seeing someone you love smile, being where you feel right, skinny dipping at midnight while the moon shines, letters from old friends...and yet these simple things, remind us why we live.

i’ve learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just assholes. i’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. i’ve learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others; they are more screwed up than you think. i’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.

if i really was a bitch, i'd make your life a living hell, but instead i'll just sit back and watch you do it yourself.

"who are you to judge me? you have not lived my life, you have not been put under the same situations that have made me the person I am. So next time you point fingers, recognize i how i lift my middle one up and scream fuck you."

karma is something someone made up to make themselves feel better. to believe that because someone wronged you the universe will turn against them.

because sometimes people do actually feel that way. sometimes your life feels like its caving in on you. sometimes people really do feel like they don't want to exist, like they want to just curl up in a ball, and go into that place between life and death. saying "i don't want to exist" isn't saying "i want to go die". its saying "i wish that, for the time being, i could go somewhere and not have to feel". i don't think there's anything wrong with that. and if you don't know how it feels to feel this way, then you have no place to judge anyone who does.

i’ve been messed with, let down, and played too many times. i wonder what people think of me too much, and I’m way too judgmental. my heart is big but I have my selfish moments. i love to be in big groups, but i love to be alone. every song on my iPod has a special memory or a regret behind it. i don't like going through old pictures because I miss what used to be. i tend to over think things and i trust way too many people. i have the people i’d love to pack up and leave with, and there are some people i wish would just disappear. i don't cry very often, but when i do i can't stop. i hate the word goodbye and i wish it didn't exist. i hate liars, though i lie myself. i have secrets hidden in me that even i don't know. i’m still finding things out about myself, so don't be quick to judge.

if anyone tells you that you can’t achieve your dreams, or puts you down, make your hand into a claw and tell them you’re a little monster and you can do whatever the fuck you want. - Lady Gaga

you should never give yourself a chance to fall apart. because when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. you must practice staying strong instead - eat, pray, love

life is too ironic to fully understand. it takes sadness to know what happiness is. noise to appreciate silence. and absence to value presence.

sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. if they care, they’ll notice. if they don’t, you know where you stand.

i’m a hopeless romantic. i believe in wishing on stars, soul mates, and love that never ends. But yet, sometimes i feel like the only single person alive. i feel so alone. no matter what i try to do, i’m left in solitude. maybe i try too hard. maybe i really am hopeless.

relationships always sounded so physically painful: you fell in love, you broke a heart, you lost your head. was it any wonder that people came through the experience with battle scars? - The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picolt

do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'i don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait..

i don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better of letting go. it's like we're scared to lose what we don't really have. some of us say we'd rather have that then nothing at all, but the truth is; to have it half way is harder then not having it all.

if i've learned one thing all my life, it's that the people who can't love you for who you are, don't deserve to ever love you at all.

you become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. - from The Little Prince

i don't know. it's like, there's this person that you want to be for other people. to make them proud of you. and then there's you. and sometimes it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

i just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have.

am i the reason people always leave? am i the reason all these things keep happening to me? maybe i’m just destined to be alone.

It's getting so hard to be around you. Because every time I see you, I see a stranger. You've changed, and I just miss the person you used to be. The one that cared, the one that wouldn't ever hurt me, not if they could help it. But now, now all you care about is yourself. Maybe you never did care in the first place, I'm not sure. All I know is the person I care about so much is no longer there. Nothing is left of you. Everything has changed, and I miss the person you used to be.

"I'm not going to spend my life chasing people. You wanna leave? Fine then, go ahead. 'Cause I'm done with chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I've learned love is hard and life is strange.”

you know, people are always asking me, "are you okay?" but they're never really expecting the truth. because the reality of the matter is, if i was okay- you wouldn't really have to wonder.

I know we don't have that long to be together, but when you're lonely, just remember I'm under the same stars as you.

underneath the stars, they told me i was crazy. i dreamt the sky radiated blue but the doctors have cleared me and said it was just a case of too much missing you.

"If you love two persons, select the second; Because you will not love someone else if you truly love the first"

"there are those who do not believe that a single soul born in heaven can split into twin spirits and shoot like falling stars to earth where over oceans and continents their magnetic forces will finally unite them back into one. but how else to explain love at first sight?"

the feeling of longing, solitude, loneliness and that one person who alone can define those words to you with amazing clarity. that's who I am looking for.

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waitin
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Cuz some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm cryin
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smilin
You always save me from myself
from myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
to myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

fuck it. you throw a dart at a map, we'll go there and start new. somewhere else in the world that's not here. somewhere where we haven't said things to each other that we can't unsay and done things which we can't undo. there we can say new things. we can do new things. and those things we say and do will be more important than the old things. let's leave. please. LEAVE WITH ME.

detached : showing lack of emotional involvement; being or feeling set or kept apart from others; no longer connected or joined; used of buildings; standing apart from others; not fixed in position

nade. zilch. nothing. 빈 (bin).

No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love
I loved the most

I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

as you know, I'm not good at goodbyes but I guess that's what this is, a real one this time, cause as much as I thought I wanted us to be together, I guess what I want more is to be one of those people who lives every moment of his life without indecision and without regrets, someone who dares to disturb the universe without a thought to the consequences, and you're not one of those people, at least not yet. maybe you'll prove me wrong about that one day, hope you do, but who knows? maybe people can't change. maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over & over again, no matter how hard we try. I always hope for a happy ending, how crazy is that? take care of yourself.

I’m afraid of not having enough time, not enough time to understand people, how they really are, or even to be understood myself. I’m afraid of quick judgments and mistakes that everybody makes - you can’t fix them without time.

everyone has a certain part of their life where they truly wish they could freeze time, whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come; whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. everyone has a time in their life where they wish everything would just stop, the world would stop turning and people would stop changing. because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.