inevitable.reality

there comes a point when you have got to stop relying on other people to make you feel okay. you've got to stop saying, "i need you." you've got to stop feeling like you can't live without someone, because guess what? you can. there is no one in this world who knows how to pick you up better than yourself. sometimes there won't be someone who can fix you when you're breaking. sometimes you're just alone, and you know what? that's good. because if you don't know how to fix yourself when you're broken, you won't get anywhere. it'll seem like the worst thing in the world at first, but i promise you if you don't run to anybody, if you just give yourself a chance, you'd be surprised what you can accomplish.

i want to hear someone’s life story. a stranger’s. and then tell them mine. i want them to know everything about me. those little things that I keep to myself because i’m afraid of judgment. terrible, awful things that i lock up in the back of my head. the way someone or something makes me feel. my opinions. the truth. everything and anything i can think of. and i want them to not hate me afterwards.

it's like i realized that way down inside, i've always been lonely for something, but i don't know what for. it's like everybody in the world wants something only they never really know exactly what it is.. they just keep finding out what it's not. you know how when you turn off the TV or take out your headphones and everything just feels so empty? like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't?

you know that feeling? when you're just waiting. waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. that feeling of both relief and desperation. nothing is wrong. but nothing is right either. and you're tired. tired of everything, tired of nothing. and you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. but no one's going to be there. and you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. but you're tired of waiting. tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. tired of being strong. and for once, you just want it to be easy. to be simple. to be helped. to be saved. but you know you won't be. but you're still hoping. and you're still wishing. and you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. you're fighting.

it's sad when you realize those who you cared so much about, could be so careless about you.