inevitable.reality

lypophrenia: a feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause.
drapetomania: an overwhelming urge to runaway.
escapism: a mental desire to retreat from unpleasant realities through fantasy.
wanderlust: a desire to travel, to understand one's very existence.
dysania: the state of finding it difficult to get out of bed in the morning.
sanctuary: a small safe place in a troubling world.
metathesiophobia: fear of change

it has happen again. this time, it hurts even more. to go over it again, its really heart wrenching. the same people with the same intention who will never know how much they have broken some because frankly they don't care. the same people who drove me to the brink of the edge. the same people who almost made me jump, just that one step to stopping the hurt.

i told myself more than a million times that i should not care. that no one is perfect. that it is not me because i did my best. that friends do not do this to their own friends. that friends do not push their friend to the ground and step on them. but it does not work.

because here i am feeling the immense hurt. struggling to find a grip but drowning and gasping for air. i feel as if maybe jumping off the edge is a good idea. that maybe just maybe it will end this empty feeling, the burning feeling, this hurt i feel every time they do this. because every time it kills me a little and little, soon i will be no more.

i wonder how long can i hold on for....someone please help me.

life gets tough and when you hit rock bottom, you think there's no hope for tomorrow. always remember that birds that fly high in the sky always come to the ground for food. once they find it, they fly even higher. your strength is on the ground and when you're down remember it, so that you can fly higher.

who are you to judge the life i live? i know i'm not perfect and i don't live to be. but, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.

at least i expected the disappointment, right? i mean, i can't say i was surprised you hurt me once again. but i can't say it hurt any less, either. even though you want them to stay.

thinking too much about what others think of you, ultimately changes what you think of yourself.

sometimes you just have to finally admit that you don't deserve any of this, and leave. even if it's going to be the hardest thing you ever do.

i feel like i care so much about other people and i’d do anything for them to keep their head up and just live happily, but in return i get nothing. i’m sick of wasting my time for others who don’t give a fuck about me. i’m done.

sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't, but then one day you feel something else. something that feels wrong, only because it’s so unfamiliar. then in that moment you realize you're happy.

maybe sometimes you have to stop waiting for someone to come along and fix what's wrong. maybe sometimes you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself, and realize no one has the right answer. maybe sometimes you have to be your own hero.

i know the world can be a brutal place. please don't let it steal your smile away. 'cause when the sky is darkest, you can see the stars. and when you fall the hardest, you find how strong you are.

life kicks you around sometimes. it scares you and it beats you up. but there's one day when you realize you're not just a survivor, you're a fighter. you're tougher than anything life throws your way. and you are.

sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. you have to know that you are a good person and a good friend. what is meant to be will end up good and what is not won't. relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can't be the only one fighting. at time, people need to fight for you. if they don't, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don't lose something real. always fight, until you can't anymore, and then be fought for.

the essence of life is not being perfect, impressing people, or succeeding at everything. the essence of life is simply making mistakes and learning from them, surrounding yourself with people that love you when you're being yourself, and getting through the failures so that you can continue improving.

the ones depressed don't dress in black. the ones who believe they're fat don't announce it. the ones scared don't scream. the ones struggling don't show their scars. the ones hurting the most are the ones hidden.

there are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. and when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand.

sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.

pain makes people change

there are moments when it's too quiet. particularly late at night or early in the mornings. that's when you know there's something lacking in your life. you just know.

any pain you're going through; it will end. take a breath. think of that one happy thing in your life and smile. live another day; it's worth it.

the first step towards getting somewhere is… to decide that you are not going to stay where you are

we're all in the game, just different levels; dealing with the same hell, just different devil

sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there you're gonna see that sometimes bad is good. we just have to believe things work out like they should.

change is a funny thing. we're never quite sure what we're becoming, or why. then, one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are and how we got there.

the world is a cruel place to be, but it's even more cold and cruel if you never really did what you wanted.

sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, trapped in a world where everyone hates me. there's so much that I'm going through - i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

we think we know who we are, but we don't. not until something bad happens to us.

we tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.